I Can't Explain

Valentine's Day is pretty corny - another excuse for us to buy shit we don't need. My wife and I generally opt out. Sometimes we buy each other something for Halloween, sometimes we don't. I know - I sound like an Anne Rice fan there but autumn is awesome and hopefully I'll be a little more on the ball this year to post why and the best songs to listen to as the air starts to chill. Anyway, it's nice to be able to just do something for your other half if you think of something good and not worry about it if you don't. I know she won't be devastated if she doesn't get flowers on February 14th. A couple days ago, though, I did slip some chocolate into her purse so she'd find it when she needs it. I think it's important to continue doing little things and big things to show someone that you love them. People who stop showing affection and appreciation for someone after they've been together for a long time are fucking lazy. In my case, my wife decided over 10 years ago to share her life with me. How crazy is that? People do it all the time, I know, but people do a lot of stupid shit all the time without thinking about it - including getting married. They convince themselves they're happy or that something will make them happy - like getting married. My wife isn't like everyone else. I know you saw that statement coming - sorry, but it's truer than true and predictability won't change that. So when she decided to marry me and glue her life to mine, I didn't take it lightly and 10 years on I still don't. I never will. I think that in a lot of ways it matters even more that you show love, respect and a healthy amount of effort as your years together start to add up. It's not always easy. Easy is making sure you don't smell bad when you start going out and trying your best not to swear or drink too much in front of her family. It's nothing to avoid cutting your toenails in front of her when you're dating, but leaving your clippings on her side of the bed after you've been married for 15 years just because you can? Christ. Do you really want her thinking "I didn't know being married would be like this"? After all, there was a time when you'd only let her see you at your best - why is it now ok to wear baggy, soiled track pants around her all the time? Sure, she can take it from time to time, but unless you've got the flu - make an effort. This person gave you their life - the least you can do is look half decent, make some dinner and leave her a loving note on a semi-regular basis.

This Valentine's Day I tried to write my wife a song. I've done it before - a couple times, at least, with her being the sole inspiration, but I'm not good at it. I think I can write pretty good songs about a variety of topics. I've covered the Mike Harris Common Sense "revolution", Paul Bernardo, being in a band, prostitution, etc. - all to good effect, if I do say so myself. But I totally suck at writing about what matters most to me. I've never been able to express what having a daughter and son has meant to me - how awesome they are and what I want them to get from life. I also can't explain how deeply, wholly and unbelievably in love in am with my wife. Simply put - she makes my heart stop. Thoughts of her throughout the day cause me to stop what I'm doing and go into a trance. When we're sitting together on a Friday night, watching a movie - I've never wanted to be anywhere else. When she leaves for work in the morning, I'm enchanted with how beautiful she is. Even when I'm grumpy and seem miserable, the stream of affection that she's generated in me continues to run deep and constant.

But how do I say this and make it rhyme and follow a chord structure? I've been trying for 18 years and sometimes get a few emotions across - but not all of them. Recently, I've rediscovered someone who generally hits the target for me. He gets it right every time - and it's no surprise why, since he was part of a devilish duo who were partners in love, lust and crime for 20+ years....